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It worked!
02:45 p.m.
Operation Creamed Corn was a success--sort of. This letter from New Line requesting us to send no more packages was posted by the Twin Peaks Gazette webmaster at the message boards. Seems what I feared has happened: Packages are being discarded in the mailroom due to the anthrax scare. Which is highly reasonable, I guess.

Sign of the times that something as simple as Twin Peaks nerds mailing in non-perishable food items can be construed as a threat.

As if I had a second's spare time to start with...
01:19 p.m.
Majestic, the "game that plays you," is playing me. I should have known better. I really should have.

Phone's ringing. Now every time I wonder if it will be "them."

What. A. Loser.

full-on fall
01:06 p.m.
I have often wondered exactly how personal to get on this thing. How much should I expose of myself to the general public (although, a decidedly small public)? This time, I'm keeping things to myself. Some things in this life are too precious to risk exploitation.

But you should know, you are reading the journal of a changed woman. Pleased to meet you.

(Oh. And um. I'm going to see Bjork live at Radio City Music Hall in NYC in 10 days. So, if you don't already: Believe in miracles.)

turn the page
03:37 p.m.
Just now, outside smoking a cigarette on my tiny porch, I watched the first leaves of fall dance prettily to the ground. The air was so clean and comfortable. I breathed in and felt the season change and reveled in the fact that everything is so very brand new.

the end of irony as we know it?
01:17 p.m.
The Onion claims that "the age of irony is over." They are holding off on updating their parody periodical for an undisclosed amount of time until things simmer down. Parodies of the 9/11 tragedy could be beneficial to some; or would they be merely in bad taste?

One publication, the Chaser, has turned out some humorous copy anyway. While some of it borders on tacky, I had to laugh at this headline:
US Defence Dept. reassures Americans: "The President is not in control"

misc. media
12:46 p.m.
This is an astounding account of one man's heroism and proof of a higher power on this earth.

Here is an interesting thread about headlines and the journalistic integrity. (It is impossible for me not to analyze the way in which we recieve the most devestating and crucial information of all of our lives. The landscape of journalism itself is changing before my eyes.)

While I wouldn't dare point any fingers, this I find a little surprising.

By now everyone has heard about what a big, dumb, heartless jackass Jerry Falwell is. I have to agree with fellow Metafilter member: I can't wait to go to hell, so I can kick his ass.

when I get past the tears, maybe then...
12:02 p.m.
I have found it nearly impossible to internalize my world around me. The deep, deep loss. The enormity of this situation, in and of itself, is more than I can grasp.

For now.

I can't think about the imminent war this world faces. I have to ignore the reports of hundreds of Afghanis streaming out of the capitol for fear of our inevitable retaliation.

When I try to focus, on any of it, I am overwhelmed by grief. Perhaps when I get past the tears, then maybe I can internalize the facts. For now, it's all feeling.

I find myself getting choked up on a regular basis. The televisions in the bar at work constantly flicker horrendous images, casting a glow on the downtrodden beer swillers. Images of crying widowers burn my brain and hot tears brim in my eyes.

But yesterday, viewing images (link no longer available) of the world's reaction, I finally sobbed. Maybe it was that I needed some distance from the situation. Some validation of my emotions. What is the scope of this tragedy and how should I feel about it? A picture of 6 Belgiun firefighters--their hats positioned over their hearts, their heads hanging, their faces desloate, paying their respects--that showed me exactly that:
This is big, and it's okay to be heartbroken.

(P.S. As a follow up to my last entry about the devil face in the smoke. Apparently, I did not offer enough commentary. No, I don't think there were supernatural evils at work here. Just found it freaky.)

12:39 a.m.
I just don't know what to say.

09:57 p.m.
"Clemant Lewin, a banker who works across street from the World Trade Center towers, said that after the initial explosion, he looked out the window and saw people jumping from the building from as high as the 80th floor, including a man and a woman holding hands as they fell."




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I Really Must Insist You Leave.
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