She jaunts
Wednesday, March 27, 2002
01:52 p.m.
Oh Joy and Rapture, I'm getting away for a couple of days. Tonight, just after work, I'll be heading down to Chattanooga for a 2-day visit with my long-time pal Jason. I love it in Chattanooga, there is something about the size of the city that is just right. And it is beautiful. There is this enormous walking bridge suspended over downtown which is dotted with parks and museums and sparkling ponds. Expect a few dozen photos upon my return.

And Jason is just the coolest. He introduced me to Neil Gaiman and Tori Amos. Actually, Jason and I used to be the biggest Tori-tards back in high school and the couple of years following. I am pretty sure he's still pretty gung-ho, but I've become disillusioned.
Seasons change.

...and I'm off.

[There've been minor changes to Misc. Etc. including a new about page and a new link. Let's be good while I'm gone.]

Discuss | no comments

He likes it, he really likes it
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
01:21 p.m.
Our girl Misc. Etc. has gotten a rave little review over at benstyle.com. There were also very nice things said about it's author as well. Hustle your butt on over to his place and check out how I'd look if Lil and I were too breed.

Also, haul ass to his newest project, Online Crush for a featured, crush-worthy web gal.

Salon ran a very funny piece critiquing the Oscars. Seems we had some of the same ideas.

I have shyness problems. I just don't get it. I'm not traditionally shy, but a bizarre, mutant sort of shy where I just don't have the capacity to meet new people. Once introduced, everything goes splendidly. I make somewhat intelligent observations and conversation or at least appear to, but until the initial meeting the idea of striking up smalltalk sounds torturous to me. I believe I am socially inept to some degree.

But once you get to know me, I have no qualms about trying to rap or busting out my best Roger Rabbit.
Yes, I mean the dance move.

Discuss | no comments

Oscar's been a bad boy
Monday, March 25, 2002
01:04 p.m.
I watched the Academy Awards last night from behind the bar at work. It wasn't very busy, but my co-worker had a fierce hangover (a tequila one and since we make more margaritas than any other drink he mostly washed dishes), so I didn't have time to actively watch the show.

Overall, it was entertaining, but I stayed irritated most of the evening as my favorites got overlooked yet again.

Lynch looked so cute in his tux and big hair. No matter how many years I watch the show I always have a clear favorite to win and root for them until the buzzer, when inevitably they fake a smile and rest assured in the knowledge that they are all far more gifted than these imbeciles will ever recognize. Ron Howard should have promptly gone over to David Lynch and begged his forgiveness being such a talentless hack.

Jennifer Connelly, who should hook up with Renee Zellwegger to begin carbo-loading immediately, was at least gracious for her statuette, unlike Halle "Hit-and-Run" Berry, who thanked her ancestors and "Vivica Fox, Jada Pinkett...and all the other nameless, faceless black women who stand behind" her. Before thanking her lawyers, she thanked the Academy for choosing her to be the vessel by which history was made. Have a little humility, girl, lest you forget you are only half black.

I guess I expected a little more modesty from entertainers in these times of war. Shallow, meaningless observations of September 11th peppered throughout self-congratulatory acceptance speeches would have turned my stomach. But I didn't expect the haughty, "I'm making history" attitude to be quite so full-on. And what about Horsey Julia stealing all of Denzel's spotlight? She jumped on his back and rode him off of the stage, hogging up all the camera time with her waxy face. Earlier in the evening she spoke of "passing along the crown," as if she'd been corinated Miss Queen Pretty Actress and had to now end her reign.

And sporting hair to match dat ass, the lovely J-Lo got an invite yet again. Seen here with her esteemed colleagues.

Who'd have thunk it but Ryan Philipe delivered the best line of the night. Greasy Reese Witherspoon did her best Meg Ryan impression, then asked if she could read the winner. Philipe said, "Sure. You make more money than me."

It's funny see, because it's ironic.

And the winner is... | 3 comments

a lesson in kindness
Friday, March 22, 2002
02:38 p.m.
My friend Keith, began his first website this week, modestneeds.com. Though a talented writer and lover of all things aesthetic, he didn't start a journal or a blog.

He started something very different. Go see why I'm proud to call him my friend.

Discuss | no comments

SO worth it
Thursday, March 21, 2002
11:06 p.m.
An excerpt from tonight's chat with The Man at DavidLynch.com:

icicular: david, i have a gold lame` jacket like the one elvis had....i want you to wear it to the oscars.
DAVIDLYNCH: Iicic- Wow - I might win with a jacket like that.
icicular: david, i'll send it via the catapult
DAVIDLYNCH: Catapult that bad boy over

Discuss | no comments

The hotmail account
Thursday, March 21, 2002
06:46 p.m.
I keep my hotmail account for its entertainment value. Because every day, rain or shine, I can get an email like I got today from Tina at trannyextreme.com. An excerpt:
"These slutty trannies are the most depraved and disgusting freaks you will ever see! There's so much cum flying at this site, it's hard to see straight!"

Tina was so kind to think of me, somehow Tina just knew I couldn't get those depraved, slutty trannies off my mind all day long. It was murder!

Thanks, Tina!

[Will update soon with hilarious search results from my statistics page.]

Mommy, what's a tranny? | no comments

poor kid
Wednesday, March 20, 2002
12:08 p.m.
Who thinks we should start up a small fund for this child in case the therapy bills get to be a burden?

Yay or nay? | no comments

a photographic extravaganza!
Tuesday, March 19, 2002
08:03 p.m.
You may remember from a previous episode my mentioning a calendar being made for David Lynch by the members of his members-only website. (Brief recap: Member of DL.com is creating a 12-month calendar featuring "The Women of DL.com" portraying various characters from his many works.) I chose to play Lil from the Twin Peaks film, Fire Walk with Me, to represent a character from this grossly underrated movie.

I went to the trouble of ringing up the Murfreesboro Municipal Airport to see if the photograph could be taken in front of an actual aircraft, but upon deeper consideration, I opted against authenticity for my own humility's sake. There was no way I was going to go anywhere but my backyard in this wig. [Though, oddly, I have only limited reservations about posting the final product on the whole wide world web.]

I also signed right up for several of Daniel's photo projects.

My submission to the eye project:

And my submission to the city project:

previously featured

I also submitted a photo to the sex project, but even though the photo is more tasteful than you might suspect, it won't be on display here.

I'm easy, but even a girl like me has her standards.

Talk to me | 5 comments

Why ask why?
Friday, March 15, 2002
01:17 p.m.
The Friday Five

1. What's your favorite animal?
Unicorns, but today I just don't feel like going there. So, my answer is cats. I have no problems with tortoises, either.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
A remember a tortoise from my very early childhood. Other than that a variety of dogs and cats.

3. Is there any specific pet that you've wanted but never had? Why?
Nope.

4. Are you allergic to any animals?
I became allergic to the cats that lived at my mom's house. I grew up with these cats, Mittens and Abby (short for Abigail), and never had any sneezy, runny nose, itchy eyes, sneezing fits then. Now when I visit my mother, I'm armed with antihistamines and eye drops. It makes me feel guilty, but visits to my mom's usually involve a nap on my part.

5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves (your pets or others')?
I vehemently dislike any mistreatment of pets, in any fashion, in general. This includes (of course, above and beyond abuse and neglect) choosing to own a dog when you live alone and work 65 hours a week, owning a caged bird of any kind (birds cannot fulfill their basest function, which is to fly freely, if they are cooped up in a tiny cage for your amusement and whimsy), putting competing fish into a tank out of malice *or* ignorance, hoarding animals, and allowing children to abuse pets.
And for fuck's sake people, spay and neuter your pets. It is the only humane thing to do.
Even Bob Barker recommended.

Discuss | 1 comment

Three cheers for the book man!
Thursday, March 14, 2002
08:15 p.m.
It gets me all bubbly inside when people do creative, beneficial and benevolent acts just out of their very own boundless goodness.
For instance, like Mr. Mark Anderson, the man who created Booklend, a personal, free library with no due dates or late fines. Mr. Anderson simply has a room full of books and a little extra money, that allows any user to check one book out for free and keep it for as long as they want. No need to feel rushed, not even a need for postage. The dear even pays postage both ways by including a self-addressed, stamped envelope with your delivery.

He says in the FAQ that he considers it a hobby, but can you imagine the time and energy he must put into this project. The mere thought of going to the post office makes my eyes itch.

I checked out Tracy Kidder's Among Schoolchildren, a book in the literary journalism genre that puts its author in the desk alongside impovrished school-aged children.

I'm donating some books, to get in on the munificence: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis, my 9th grade copy of A Seperate Peace by John Knowles and Feminism and Theatre, by Sue-Ellen Casson.

If you would also like to donate books, drop me a note in the comments below and I'll give you his mailing address.
Or you could get it yourself from the webpage.
But wouldn't some (non-spam) mail be fun?

sweet caramel inside | 1 comment

Tuesday, March 12, 2002
10:02 p.m.
He's right, this is a great lede.

FYI
Monday, March 11, 2002
03:52 p.m.
Always, whenever I use a self-service soda machine, I fill my cup up with just the right amount of ice (for me: 6/10s full). However, the initial ice level is never sufficient and so I gently tap the cup to the ice lever, thereby filling the cup more like 8/10s full.

I then dump out the superfluous ice.

Every time.

Discuss | 5 comments

an outting
Monday, March 11, 2002
01:30 p.m.
Nearly a year ago, someone posted this entry into my guestbook. I never found out who authored this, and as a girl who very much likes mysteries, it sort of haunts me. I think it is worth at least a cursory glance. So, for what it's worth:

TRIGGER/RESPONSE

"Secrets" and she smiles. "Tell me a secret."

She's been drinking all night. She passed me an hour ago and now all I have is a white noise headache. Meanwhile, she's somewhere between party-drunk and wino-drunk.

"Mmmm." I inhale sharply. Breifly my head swims. I worry. "I don't like this game. Always ends in silence and recrimination."

"C'mon!" She's laughing now and I can't stop my hands from shaking. Too much of me is spent avoiding this. "It's fun. Tell me a good one."

"No such thing as a good secret."

"Sure there is. Christmas is always a good secret. Surprise parties, stuff like that."

"You want me to tell you what I got you for your birthday?"

She laughs and totters over close to me. I wonder how much she'll remember. Too much by far. And now I know it's too late.

Her eyes level with mine. There's excitement, true. Also fear and anger, all in equal perportions.

I search for strength. Finding none, I search for something to distract her. Music? Too broad. Twin Peaks? Shit, wrong girl. Hesitated too long. Her eyes harden and static builds between us. There's no block and no peace tonight without my revelation. My mouth is dry and I fumble.

"Secret..." Buzz is a scream now and I want to scream to release it. "...alright."

She's moved to a defensive position, either to receive a blow or give one. I wonder breifly how she makes that look so natural. And since I only have one, I speak.

"I cheated on you on this couch."

Silence.

The guestbook came down today. It's been passe for some time now to have a guestbook. I'm afraid people are snickering at me.

Who did it? | no comments

Pop culture is my bag, though, baby (one more time)
Monday, March 11, 2002
01:23 p.m.
Piss on you, Spears!

Hit me, baby. | no comments

Attack of the Doze
Monday, March 11, 2002
01:02 a.m.
For nineteen years I got up every morning and went to school, played, loved, lived--all without ever having seen Star Wars. I sort of wore it like a badge, bragging almost, that no, I had never seen the trilogy. Not even the first one.

Although, mind you, as a kid I remember Star Wars, the phenomena. I was born in 1977 for chrissakes, I'm surprised it wasn't required for kindergarten or something. The neighbor kid had all of the action figures, and I may have even owned a stuffed Ewok. But I never, to my recollection, saw any of the Star Wars pictures until college.

All my guy friends in high school were flabbergasted to learn I'd never watched. Most people were and I liked it that way. I could tell I wasn't missing much and frankly, I was an arrogant snot of a teen who would pride herself in something so snide.

Enter: Cameron. First college boyfriend, hyper-fanatical Star Wars devotee. Upon hearing I'd never seen the movies, Cameron forced me to watch all three, three nights in a row, back-to-back.

Of course, I hated them.

I struggled to remain conscious throughout all 9 hours and promptly began resenting Cameron for it. Come to think of it, that is probably where things began to dissipate.

I'm a big sucker though, and so even I got swept up in Phantom Menace fevor. I got all excited awaiting the big date and clapped upon seeing the first trailer and generally held out high hopes. Sadly, you know the rest of this story...Jar Jar Binks, CGI-icide, it stank.

Easy to see why I had no intentions of seeing Attack of the Clones, and after viewing the first three trailers it was decidedly so. No go. Keeping my ass at home became infinitely more justifiable whence word of N*Sync's cameo came about, and my mind was made up.

Then the newest preview, Clone War was released, and dammit if I might be swayed.

Do or do not. There is no try. | 2 comments